you have the power to teach others how to treat you
Understanding and Reclaiming Your Sense of Self
Blog Posts
From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion: Freedom from Core Shame
Resolutions or Revolutions?
Emotions aren't bad...or good
Stop Controlling, Start Protecting: Setting Boundaries that Work
The Power of Process: Why Learning Matters More Than Mastery
What It Means to Live Free
Giving from your Best Yes
Every "yes" is a "no" to something else
Embracing Anger: How to Make Friends with Your Emotions
Podcasts
The Place We Find Ourselves by Adam Young is one of my favorites. I especially recommend the following episodes:
Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, answers listener questions on Mayim Bialik's podcast including: “Am I in love or just attached?" “How do you know if you're in love?” "What are some of the biggest red flags in relationships?" She also discusses top tips to finding and keeping love and should you cut off a family member or a parent.
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast by Tammy Sollenberger
Lawyer and public speaker Jefferson Fisher runs social media accounts and a podcast with tips about how to handle difficult situations in conversation. Find him on YouTube, Facebook, or your favorite podcast platform. [YouTube account]
Books
-
Make Sense of Your Story by Adam Young
-
The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self by Harriet Lerner
-
Boundaries for Your Soul: How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest Allies by Dr Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller
-
Strong like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things--and Experience True Flourishing by Aundi Kolber
-
Try Softer by Aundi Kolber
-
Shame: The Power of Caring by Gershen Kaufman
-
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
-
It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
-
by Mark Wolynn
-
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
-
The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Maté
-
In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness by Peter A. Levine
-
No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness by Richard Schwartz
-
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz
-
Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine
-
More Than A Body: Your Body Is an Instrument, Not an Ornament by Lexie Kite and Lindsay Kite
Other Resources
The Change Triangle tool for emotional health by Hilary Jacobs Hendel. [Blog post]
-
Learning how to recognize emotions as experiences in your body can help you better connect with your needs and your authentic self.
Emotional Intelligence [YouTube video]
The Neuroscience of Breath: How to Use Breathing to Control Emotions by Dr. Tracey Marks [YouTube video]
The Peak End Rule: What You Actually Remember From a Experience [YouTube video]
Podcasts with Hilary Jacobs Hendel that discuss the reconnecting with your emotions. [Webpage of links to podcasts]
The power of vulnerability by Brené Brown. [YouTube video/TEDtalk]
-
The courage to be imperfect
-
The compassion to treat ourselves kindly
-
Connection through authenticity
Listening to shame by Brené Brown. [YouTube video/TEDtalk]
Resources on addressing shame from The Center for Healing Shame [Website with links]
Friendship and Mental Health [article]. Covers the importance of friendship, how that interacts with family and romantic relationships, different stages of friendship, and how that can fluctuate with major life transitions.
Understanding your interpersonal strategies [website]
Career development: True Compass in Wichita offers aptitude assessments to help you choose a career that fits your personality and interests.
Therapist Reacts to CARS: so many excellent points about self-growth
Relationship Therapist vs. Hitch [YouTube video]
A marriage and family therapist explores how relationships develop when we are able to be our authentic selves using humor and this popular movie. This episode works well as a follow-up to Brené Brown, further illustrating that you have to know who you are and know how to be vulnerable with another before you can develop a deeper relationship. (Keep in mind opinions expressed in this video are theirs, and I include it here because of the overall message and the benefit of a few laughs.)
A Word About Online Resources
My hope is to share resources here that are useful. Although I do my best to keep information current, it is possible for links to become outdated or for material to change. A link is not an endorsement of a particular person or organization, nor do I receive any incentives from them.
Keep in mind that these resources are not specific to your situation and therefore are not therapy or a substitute for mental health services. Please consult your therapist, physician, or other professional support for advice that is specific to you, and call your local 24-hour helpline (988) if you are in crisis.